Having lunch and catching up with a longtime friend always warms my heart. Eleven years ago I had no idea what this lunch would lead too, but it was a step in many life-changing events.
I was sharing with my friend, Nancy, how I was feeling sick. My heart was always racing, and my anxiety was what was driving me. I was the exorcist behind closed doors – exhausted, but in the best physical shape in my life. Crazy, huh?
Nancy asked if I need a referral for a therapist and I thought yes, not a bad idea. I wanted a woman, and Nancy had the name: Eve Cribbs. So I received the number, and we continued on with our lunch, chatting, laughing and a bit of comparing our fitness training advancements and what worked for our clients. A great afternoon.
Outside after lunch, we stood for a moment on the sidewalk, and she asked me, “Would you be interested in a women’s weekend retreat? I think I tripped over my tongue to say YES, when, where and NOW! Sign me up could not have been spoken fast enough! She offered me a meeting to learn more, but I said: “just tell me how much, where, when, I will discover the details when I get there”.
I knew I needed help to get all of this head-spinning spitting green in my life in control. (Some sort of head/mind altering pleeeease!)
Before arriving at the camp, I had a litany of paperwork to fill out, and quite frankly, all I remember was that I wanted “peace within”. Just peace within myself – help! At the registration table, I remember women working, scurrying around back and forth, (I guess preparing for us women that would be journeying – whatever that means). One paper I signed off on was to promise to commit to completing the weekend. It said I had to stay until Sunday evening 6:00 PM. Here is what went through my mind: really? I have my keys; Screw you I can leave when I want! Hmmm, that statement told me I really needed to be there.
I was assigned a room with two beds and a bathroom, and I was soon to meet another woman, my roommate. The accommodations were great – warm and rustic. (Thank God, because I don’t rough it and share a bathroom with multiple people….just saying!)
After the other seventeen women arrived, we were summoned to the main building to enter this beautiful room with nine “circle-sisters” awaiting us. We went through logistics, “closed the circle” and danced awake the Universal Energies. You had better believe my head went right to, WTF did I just pay for? Holy shit this is crazy crap!
A conversation with myself went like this: Settle down, Kim, you have your car keys you can always leave. Well, I stayed through Friday night until Saturday morning and then I was still ready to leave.
Something finally clicked for me after the first teaching on Saturday, and I knew I was right where I needed to be, I belonged. It was quite the jammed packed weekend. I never once felt exhausted, but truly rested and grounded.
A was searching for peace within me, I was begging for it, desperate for it, so I stayed.
Sunday afternoon, after another teaching, we were instructed to go walk the land, not talk to anyone and contemplate questions that were given to us. I walked outside towards the pond and stopped to take in the herons, making their noise. I took in the gray sky, the slight rain, trees and the buildings – so beautiful. The rain was picking up, so I decided to head towards a building with a fireplace, my questions, and journal in hand. However before I took a step I looked up to the sky and asked God to please just give me peace within, God, it is all I want. Please!
I looked down onto the ground, and I spotted something in the dirt. I thought it was a rock, but when I reached down to pick it up, I realized it was A HALF-BURIED PEACE SIGN CHARM! I was speechless, I felt like I left this planet miraculously to be answered in my quest!
After the retreat weekend, I snapped back into my mundane anxiety driven life. I wasn’t ready to stay connected. However, the peace sign charm hung around my neck. My husband eventually came home with a stunning new peace sign necklace that is on my neck at all times. This charm was placed in a pouch along with a marble (something that I received from Eve Cribbs – another very special thing) this never leaves my side as I keep it in my purse.
A year later, I felt I was missing my peace, so I went to go grab it and found it was gone - marble and all. I turned my home upside down looking for this pouch, only to realize that I had recently donated. I was devastated for about one hour until I let go. I knew that someone must have needed it as much as I did the day I found my peace among the dirt.
My peace is in my heart, my soul and my spiritual connection to God. Trust me, it took me awhile to succumb to this, and honestly, it requires daily practice to surrender instead of worrying.
Ten years ago, falling asleep at a red light was the next huge moment where I knew I was in trouble yet again. I stepped back into the retreat, and instead of a weekend it was a nine-month journey, and I have not turned back ever since the red light.
I am blessed to be alive, and to have opportunities to grow my connection with God, even deeper every day! I mess up, I curse and I may fall off the road so to speak a bit. However, I never turn my back on my personal spiritual relationship with God. He has my back, and that feels so cool!
I have peace within, I am tangled up in Peace, and peace signs are monumental for me!
Peace,
Kim
Love this story– we all need a “time out” now and again. I’m definitely overdue! Thought: Notice you had the inner peace without the charm. You didn’t even know you gave it away! Peace and love come from within, not from symbols (even though they are great reminders). Peace to you this holiday season 🙂
LOL Thea, I know, right. I hope you discover your slowing down/Peace very soon. Looking forward to seeing you soon. Happy Holidays!
Kim, that peace charm was the beginning. It showed you the way. When you accidentally donated it, you thought all was lost. But lo and behold, you still have peace! That charm was the symbolic peace you needed. It was placed there to show you the way to your inner peace. You have that now! Blessings all around and praise to God. Hugs!
Thank you, Valerie, and yes to having the peace all along. The charm was my starting point of rediscovery! 🙂
Kim, you are sharing so truly and deeply of yourself. It is wonderful to experience. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you, Elise! Thank you for all of your support!
Love that you have a constant reminder when you need to focus on peace.
Always and we all do through God!
I love that you realized your missing piece was missing peace. Beautiful.
Thank you, Leigh!
We are all blessed to have you in our lives.
Thank you! xx
Love this! I think we could all benefit from stepping back and taking time to reflect more. Being content in oneself is the first step to a happier life.
Yes it is! Peace! 🙂
Wow, what a timely story! It’s a great reminder to the rest of us to be open to what’s being sent our way. We’ll get what we need if we can be open to it. I definitely needed to hear this reminder this week!
So happy for you. And yes we must be open!
Thanks for sharing such a special story. I love a good retreat.
I do too and you are welcome!
Awww I got chills reading this! The Universe provides signs when we need them, we just have to be open to receiving them.
Yes we do and I was so ready.
What an amazing story ! I’m a big believer in things coming our way when we need them as long as we are open to it !
For sure, being open. I was screaming for this and so ready to receive.
Lovely story Kim, inner peace is so important but often hard to find. The retreat sounded great too.
It was and just the beginning!
I love that you found your peace sign in the dirt. Such a powerful story. I’d have done the same as you when you lost it, turning the house upside down. You’re right though, it was only meant to be a reminder for anyone who needed it in a moment. I have a feeling that peace sign was meant for a lot of people. Only for a moment. The rest is up to us.
Yes. I love my Peace signs!
what an amazing story! finding that peace charm right when you needed it is a great sign to receive.
Thank you and it was life changing!
Such a unique article by you!!!! Everyone has his own way to find peace and it may depends his way also.
Thanks for the post….
Thank you I am glad you enjoyed it!