What are you Caramelizing?

(That is a Kimism!)

 

Some of you may know, a part of my background goes like this: ten years ago I fell asleep at the wheel of my red Volkswagen Jetta at a major intersection. Four lanes south all the way downtown Detroit and four lanes north all the way up through Pontiac and past. A major well-driven road. On a sunny August afternoon, I stopped for a red light, and within seconds I felt my head fall forward, which woke me up and low and behold, I felt that again within a few more seconds.

My foot never left the brake (thank God), so no one was hurt. I rushed home (Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, there no place like home!). I jumped out of my car and looked at it as if it was the Devil (of course the car’s fault bwahaha). Then I ran into my home and looked around to say, “What the hell is going on, Kim?” I knew I needed help for I was going down.

I woke up each morning before even getting up out of bed I wondered what my schedule would be like that day, and the time when I could return back to bed. Now hold on, I am a very much a morning person: peace and quiet, coffee, reading writing and conversations with God. So this wanting to go back to bed before even getting started was not a norm for me. I didn’t even realize how I was talking myself into a slumber, a huge stagnation.

At this time in my life I was soon approaching 50, and really looking forward to this birthday. However, I knew the pace I was living I wasn’t going to make it, and something had to change DRASTICALLY!

Going back a few years, I was teaching spinning classes. We moved out of our home for one year to do a major renovation. My fitness business was going great, but my anxiety was at an all-time high. Please do not say to yourself, no wonder her anxiety was high, moving, major renovation, busy, and blah, blah blah. NO! Nothing here causes my anxiety and depression to set in. NOTHING, but me! It was my mindset, my words to myself, my actions…

I would teach a spin class in the morning, something that totally invigorates me. However, at that time in my life, the post workout would send me home all sweat-drenched and completely exhausted at 11 am in the morning. I would take those sweaty clothes off, put on my robe, skip a shower, and head to bed to sleep for 1-2 hours. The phone would ring next to me, and I couldn’t even lift my arm to answer it, the doorbell would ring, and I couldn’t even get up to answer it. I was flat out exhausted. I was dead on the inside, depleted of energy, and my anxiety was at an all-time high (exercise used to help me manage it). All I could say to myself was “something is missing, a piece of me is missing.”

I needed help, and I knew I couldn’t conquer this myself; I needed a village of support.

Fast forward to the red light moment day: I knew who to call. However, I had misplaced this woman’s information, but I also knew she would come to me – and she did. One afternoon I was preparing for a yoga class, and I met a friend. We started talking and poof, she had the information I was looking for. The woman’s number. I stepped into a nine-month journey – healing, discovering my own missing personal pieces so I could wake up and come alive again.

To start my day with a skip in my step, a spark in my eye and a pounding heartbeat. Isn’t that what life is about (and more of course)?

My missing piece was me and my connection to spirituality. My “s” in spirituality has been lower case for a long time, I didn’t even know who my spiritual parents were.

This year has been the year to take the time and slow down to reconnect with God and take my lowercase “s” of spirituality to an uppercase “S”. To rebrand ME. To grow more, and go deeper take my coaching to another level for my clients.

Not to drive or force things any more-analogy: Cinderella’s village, all the women trying to force their foot into the glass slipper because of the Prince. I was the forcer, cramming, driving, forcing so much, chasing and wanting MORE when everything I had was enough.

I was “caramelizing” things (another Kimism for you). I needed to stop trying to have it all, mastering nothing and not “caramelizing” what I had. (Think of a piece of caramel in your mouth, move it around and let it melt, get soft and enjoy the taste. Don’t just pop it into your mouth, bite, and chew and move on to the next). Savor life instead of pounding it to complete exhaustion and pretending you have it all perfectly together! (Recovering perfectionist here. We are never perfect. Just saying, not being a downer here!)

Tell me, what are you “caramelizing?” Are you feeling overwhelmed, stressed out to the nth degree, letting things fall through cracks? Does it seem like you never have time for anything? Do you spin around and around and become more exhausted, burning all your energy? WELL THEN, IT IS TIME TO CHAT! Reach out to me, but before you do say to yourself, “Enough of being sick and tired! Enough of chasing my tail and not getting what I want!”

It is all up to you! Your choice! Don’t wait until you fall asleep while driving.

Peace,

Kim

 

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